Rebirth

I feel like I have limited my blog to photography for too long. Photography is my most important means of expression. However, I also love to Zentangle, to write poetry, and to write in general. Prayer, family, preparation for college. Those things are my life.
Sometimes it is difficult to see the beautiful things in my life, because I get caught up in the unhappy things. I find it easier to remind myself of the beauties in life when I tell others about them, though. So this will be the purpose of my blog from now on. Perhaps I can keep up a little better than I have before.

Meet Lottie

Lottie is the name I gave to my gorgeous new (refurbished, actually) Nikon D5100. She and I took a trip to Bernheim yesterday, along with my dear mother and her dog, Aoife. It was such a beautiful morning - cool and overcast. Perfect for photographs. All of the plants were covered in dew. So gorgeous.

It's the Little Things

It seems to me like Spring came out of nowhere. Just a couple weeks ago, it snowed, and now the weather is gorgeous and warm! The bushes and trees are suddenly sporting blossoms, and the flowers are bright spots of color all over the ground, like God was painting and dropped splatters.
The birds are singing throughout most of the day. The bumblebees are floating around and bumping into things. My sisters are planting flowers. All of the dogs in the neighborhood are out and barking for the better part of the day.
It's the time of year for picnics in the grass. It's time to get out and watch the flowers bloom. It's time to see the animals delighting in being alive. It's time to share in their delight.

Dear Lord,
You show Your artistic abilities most in the Spring, with the way the plants You created display their colors and the way the birds sing their songs that praise You and the world You made. Help to open the ears and eyes of all in the world so that all can appreciate the beauty of the world You created.
Amen.

Another Hard Day

Today has been one of those days when it's hard to find anything to be grateful for. Unlike many of my friends, I don't have mentors and close friends whom I can call anytime to be comforted. I have my parents, who have been far too preoccupied with other things this week. Then I have one beautiful, wonderful friend who happens to be attending college and working part-time, and usually isn't available right away.
I am lucky, though, to have this friend. I know that, even though everyone else I know has many friends, it is rare for anyone in America to have such a close friendship as I do with my friend. I know that I should be counting my blessings, and not the things that make me unhappy. Luckily, my friend helps me with that.

Dear God,
You give and You take away, and we cannot know Your reasons. We can only count ourselves among the blessed because we are loved by You no matter what. We can only enjoy what You have given us and accept that what we have is enough. Thank You, Lord, for the blessing that is my closest friend. I ask that You will keep her safe and guide her well.
Amen.

I Lost My Happy Thoughts

I'm having one of those down days when I just can't seem to perk up. On those days I just can't seem to get much of anything done. I try to work on writing an essay and I wind up staring at the page and maybe writing two words every five minutes. I'll put on water for tea and then I'll sit down, waiting for it to boil, and I'll completely forget about it because I'm staring into space and feeling miserable, tuning out everything else.
The best thing for me to do when I'm in one of these moods is to just try to be productive. I can take a walk, and that often helps. Today I continued to work on setting up my photography business, and to research some things I'll need to know in this business. Then I spent some time looking at art and design colleges in the states surrounding Kentucky (because Kentucky does not have any), and I found some that I had not looked into before. Now I am considering two colleges in Nashville, which would be great because the art scene there is incredible!
If I make myself get busy, the mood slowly but surely dissipates, and I am able to feel happier and more accomplished than I would have if I had moped around listening to depressing music all day like I wanted to. So today I am grateful for the advice that my parents give me. This was a lesson that I learned on my own, but my parents had told me many times that it would work. It's funny how the lessons that I most stubbornly refuse to learn turn out to be the ones most worth learning.

Dear Lord,
You often manifest yourself most clearly to me in my father and my mother. Thank You for the lessons that I learn through them, for they originated in You. I ask that You will give me the wisdom to listen well to my parents' advice, and that You will continue to bless my parents with the ability to give the advice that I need to hear.
Amen.

Focusing on the Good

I apologize for not posting for so long! Have you ever put something off for so long that you felt that it wouldn't hurt to put it off a little longer, and the next thing you know it's four months later and you haven't done the thing you had been putting off? That's what happened to me - alone with some medical issues.
Anyways, I'm back, with new photos and many new things to be thankful for!
Today I learned that I was not accepted into a three week long summer program for art students. It was my second and last chance to get in, and I was rejected again. I am finding ways to be grateful even for that, however. One of my sisters said that I'm just too awesome for the program to handle me. While I do not believe that is true, I certainly believe that God has a good reason for everything. He has a plan for me that was not going to work out if I was accepted into that program. I do not know what that plan is, but I know that there is no use sulking. Instead, I will focus on the good things that may come out of this!
One good thing is that I am looking forward to going to Masterpiece Ministries camp this summer. Last year I was also not accepted into the program that I applied to, so I searched for another, and found Masterpiece. I am so glad that I did! Masterpiece changed something in my heart, and I am much better for it. This year I will go again, and this time one of my little sisters will be going with me!
Another good thing is that my rejection letter actually spurred me to do something productive. I had created a page for my photography business last year after being hired to shoot a wedding, but I did not get any business at all. Now I am going to try harder than ever to promote my business. I need the practice, and I need the money, both for college and for a new camera.
I will also have three weeks more this summer to spend with my family and friends. I plan on documenting this time very well. I will carry my camera with me everywhere, because on the few occasions that I have not brought my camera on a trip, I wished that I had.

Dear Lord, thank you for reminding me today that not everything that I desire is what I need. Help me to remember that You know what is good for me, while I do not. Give me the wisdom to see You in all things, so that instead of seeing a something bad I will see Your will.
Amen.

Music

I love music. I am not a musically talented person, but I absolutely love listening to good music. One of the things I love most about music is that it expresses certain feelings in such a way that the person listening to it can feel as if they themselves are expressing those emotions. When I sing along to a love song, I feel as though I am in love, and when I listen to a song that praises God, I praise him too.
By playing certain songs, I can improve my mood. If I ever feel sad, I play "Better Days" by Dar Williams or "Tomorrow is Gonna Be Better" by Joshua Radin, and I feel more optimistic. When I start to feel depressed and like I can't make myself do anything, but I have things that I have to do, I listen to the right music and am capable again.
I find religious songs incredible because at times when I feel close to God, I feel something warm in my heart, but cannot express it. Music gives me words in a beautiful form that I would not have been able to create myself. Truthfully, music taught me how to pray. I cannot turn my prayers into songs, but I feel like I know better what words go together to form prayers because my favorite praise songs taught me.

My God, you are Lord of the Whole Universe. You are Creator of the Whole Universe. You sang the world into being, and all songs that we sing exist because You gave us the words and You inspired us to put them to song. Thank You for music, because it gives me another way to worship You. May all of Your creations be able to sing for You during our worship.
Amen.